After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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