So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
