god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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