Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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