i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
