I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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