Can i not drive my cunt home
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
