So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
