am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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