So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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