Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
