census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
