These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
