just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
tell me about the fingering
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