she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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