No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
