I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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