we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
