I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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