Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
