If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
