So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
