we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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