Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
