If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
