doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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