Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
A+ Viking dick
Damn victory sex feels great
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
