Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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