you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
