I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
