she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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