jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
