i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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