it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
