hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
