May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
