If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
