I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
