i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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