3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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