perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
