If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
