my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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