just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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