Dual....:-)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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