I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
