I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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