Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pants 0. Shit 1.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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