life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
