I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
