i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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