I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
