Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
